Just to clarify. I am not destitute. That is definitely not the image i am trying to portray. We live paycheque to paycheque. We are often broke, or run out of money before payday. Mostly because we have extra healthcare expenses that most families don't have to deal with. But, i live in a wonderful house on a beautiful piece of property on one of the most gorgeous islands anywhere. My children are happy, clothed and fed. We live a life full of adventure and fun and laughs and tears. I really couldn't ask for more and feel so very fortunate when i think about all the financial and political hardships facing people all over the world. I also feel lucky to have this place to talk about the small problems, and i know they are small, that challenge me every day. I do believe that "every road is a hard road" at times.
That being said i have been considering going back to work. It would mean giving up some things. Like being president of my kids school which has been one of the most fulfilling things i have ever done. Being president has also given me the opportunity to be invited to a Black Tie Gala this weekend as the guest of a local millionaire. Another opportunity to wear my fancy high heels i bought at christmas. But, i digress. I have been thinking of going back to work. It's just a thought right now because the hurdles of childcare and keeping my allergic eliza safe have seemed insurmountable. I am working the plan though.
With every child you have these decisions become so much more complicated. My children, obviously, are very opposed to the idea. Tristan says "but you're already a junior writer!" Part of me wants to work for the escape and part of me wants to be accepted by the world outside of this as something more than a mom, something with value. Something like blogshares where i can go and see my value in concrete numbers. I make this much money which makes me worth this much in comparison with others. Always the need to compare. Also, i went to university. I had a plan. I didn't figure into that plan how much i would love and need to be near my kids and how much they would love and need me.
Anyway. I have a plan. I will unfold the details right before your eyes.
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It's a difficult balancing act us moms do. On one side we have our desire to be there for our kids all the time. On the other we have financial needs and desire for interesting work and recognition. You don't get much recognition on the kids side!
I work from home. Best of both worlds. Worst of both worlds too unfortunately.
Best of luck with your plan. I hope you keep all the plates in the air, wearing sexy heels and a swank dress too.
Posted by moe | April 26, 2006 11:30 AM