And so i am wondering why i am ending another week on a low note. What is it about fridays that makes me want to curl up in the fetal position, turn on Band of Horses, and cry myself into a deep, long sleep.
I have no answers.
Please accept this little tidbit from my NaNoWriMo book in exchange for a pass on any more navel-gazing on my part. Actually, this is navel-gazing at it's finest. These words may be slightly familiar to some of you.
Don’t we all feel sad sometimes? Aren’t the struggles of life overwhelming for all of us? At least some of the time?
At some point though I feel like my path changed. That I took one small step off the same highway that all the other people I know walk on.
I wake up in the morning, I make my kids lunches. I play with playdoh. I sit with my family for dinner every night. I make love to my husband. All the normal things.
But, I do it all with deception. With a heavy heart. A sad heart. Without honesty. I can see the beautiful things. I can appreciate them. My brain is just so sad, so filled with doubt and anxiety. Missing all the things I have never done, will never do.
Yet somehow you find yourself at 37. Underwhelmed, confused and depressed.
I have twenty-two short stories to tell you. Twenty-two stories that will explain how I came to be here.
A mother of four children.
Alone in the world.
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*sniff*
I want to read more. And yet I wish you weren't going through such sadness.
Posted by Karianna | November 3, 2006 5:53 PM