A beautiful day. Finally the sun was out. Perhaps just for a day. Whatever global warming is creating monster temperatures elsewhere has left my little westcoast basked in rain and abnormally low temperatures. It's like the warm-up for the long, dark winter.
The kids are getting ready for the beginning of school in three short weeks. It boggles my mind to think the summer is almost over, when really it has only just begun. In another in a long series of things that i feel bad about in this summer of 2007 i always worry that i don't do enough for the kids. Not enough fun.
I am not ready to get back into schedules. Early mornings. Packing lunches. The constant headache from lack of sleep. Being the president of the school.
I would homeschool if it didn't involve the schooling part, just the summer vacation all the time.
Little to nothing to say today. In a flux. A state of being better, but not really sure how that looks. Still unsure about the future. Taking every step cautiously. Wrapping my heart in a pillow, lest i fall. Hoping for some extended relief from the burden of pain. New friends and new projects underway. Continuing to make changes. To make my life better.
Planning the very late birthday party/slumber fest for my oldest daughter. Wanting to make it perfect for her. Realizing that more and more i am losing all control of her life. Unable to filter and shelter her as much as i used to. Knowing the difficult days are coming for her. That she is becoming a preteen.
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From day one after a child is born, it's a constant process of learning to let them go.....if only it weren't so blasted hard...I'm overtaken by worry, only to find that they are much stronger than me. Wishing you continued peace and joy....
Posted by Lauri | August 14, 2007 10:31 PM