I remember the first time i ever saw shane. I was walking through my college campus and i saw him standing on top of a picnic table reciting a poem in front of a small group of students. I don't think i stopped, but i remember having one of those feelings. A feeling that this person was going to be a part of my life. We started dating shortly after that.
That was seventeen years ago in september.
Coming back together after nearly a year has been, in some ways, like starting again. In other ways it feels like that block of time never happened. Like we were always meant to be together, all the crappy circumstances that caused that break, have brought us back together stronger.
In counseling the other day our therapist said we needed to see our future as walking together hand in hand. Supporting and being together as equals.
In the last five years of our marriage we fell into this trap of stereotypes. I think it can be very difficult not to when you have the stay-at-home mom/dad as provider scenario. I felt unvalued and small. When my long depression set in i got lonelier and angrier. I lost perspective on my life, my family, my marriage. Now that i have carved out an independent life for myself i feel stronger than i ever have. I am coming back into marriage as a whole person.
A person who is happy to walk alongside.
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