I am in a funk. Feeling funky. And not in a look at my cute haircut kind of way. Life has been very difficult for a while now. Not helping is the stuck in the house in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do but take care of sick children claustrophobia. There is nature, of course, but nature is stuck in a six week old mountain of snow that is now an icy, slushy, dirty mess.
My life has become complicated and i loathe complicated. I like simple easy days. Days of camping with messy children. Days of sleeping in and lounging lakeside.
I am tired of working. I haven't taken any time off in 18 months.(Yes, I had a whirlwind four day trip to california last summer, but i didn't take any time off for that. Just worked extra on either side.) I am on a four day on, one day off, three day on schedule which makes me feel guilty about not being around enough with the kids. Balance is hard to find.
Balance. I have no time to myself. I am either working or parenting these days. It is exhausting.
In 2009 i wanted to find balance. More time to do things for myself. But, there are only so many hours in a day and i am already running on a tortuous schedule that leaves little time for sleep as evidenced by the purple bruises under my eyes.
Blah. What to do. What to do.
For now? Right now i am going out to get an ice cream cone with parker.
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While I know you value highly the independence that working is giving you, perhaps *this* job isn't the right job for your life.
Posted by wookie | February 3, 2009 1:01 PM