And so it is over. Tomorrow i will be moving out.
It is all very sad and heartbreaking and truly ending with love and a whimper.
Shane is a wonderful man, tender and loving. He is a wonderful father and has been a great provider for our family. This family will always be our family. We share a great love for our children. They will always know that. We have worked out custody arrangements that maximize both of our time with them. We will spend holidays as a family - birthdays and christmas and what-not.
We are both walking away hopeful that we will always be friends, that we will both be able to be happy again someday.
I am reading the new Wally Lamb book "The Hour I First Believed" and it has been incredibly tough to read during these past few difficult weeks. But the reference he makes to the chaos theory in it really struck a chord with me. Somewhere, three years ago, a butterfly flapped it's wings and sent my world into chaos.
I am hopeful that after the initial shock and sadness wears off my world will become calm again. I understand that it has been hard to follow what is happening in my life because of my many vague references and wailing tweets, but i have tried my best to respect the privacy of my family while trying to write out all the intense feelings i have been going through.
I am eternally hopeful that my kids will also, after their grief subsides, see that we put our greatest effort in. That each of us did everything we were capable of to make this marriage work. That we will always share a great love and that love is our children.
I won't write about this again.
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*hugs* You stay strong, sister. Much love to you all.
Posted by missbanshee | March 17, 2009 3:35 PM