our favourite topic is nothing, nothing at all

my waking life is wasting away

it's my birthday. i am old and young.

i walk out in the moonlight, 38 minutes to go, i dig through my corduroy jacket and find months of fairie notes.

my secret, my little life with my daughter. there are many nights i forget, or i know and i am so tired after work i walk by the fairie house. but then i remember, in my corduroy jacket, walking through the yard. it is like a strike to my heart. if you forget again she will have doubt. she will doubt that there is magic in this world and it might not be fairies, but there is always magic. there is magic in this world.

i only wish you had something, something to say

i have met and been in constant contact with some amazing people this year. i think i'm happy. i realized tonight that i don't let myself be happy. i feel guilty about everything i do.

life gives you knives, you gotta cut somebody you know

and sometimes i am mean, or strange. sometimes i can't control my thoughts, or feelings, or tears. sometimes i get away with myself and i apologize for that.

But, it's my birthday and i've had a really big fucking year.