should i , shouldn't i

Not quite sure yet if i'm going to do NaBloPoMo this year. I have a heavy heart surrounding NaNoWriMo and PoMo because of losing my novel three years ago, 36,000 words in. It still haunts me. Words that were lost, that poured out of me that dark november, gone forever.

Anyways, today i am feeling a little better. I have had a few days to digest my news. It took awhile for my body, my heart to remind me that i am, indeed, still healthy. That i'm not going to die. It's just going to be a pain in the butt (and mouth) for a few months. Then i can move on. It's just another hurdle. I am getting very strong legs from all these hurdles i have been jumping.

Surely good things are around the next bend.

I've been listening to Sigur Ros. It's somehow grounding me and letting my dreams come back out. I can still dream.