This past weekend i had an opportunity, a moment in time, to escape on a seaplane for twelve hours to attend a party that an old friend from highschool was hosting.

I know that everyone believes that certain places are the most beautiful in the world, but i can say without the hint of a doubt that british columbia on it's bright and golden days is one of the most amazing and breathtaking places in the world. As i flew across the pacific ocean and the plane turned low over a harbour on the sunshine coast i was struck with the beauty.

Those of you that know me know that this would also be the part of my adventure that i had that "what am i doing here" feeling and "how can i get home right now?" As i wandered across the dock i got a text message that said something like "there is no ride for you, go in to the pub and find two guys you went to highschool with and haven't seen for 20 years."

I paced around for a bit. Gathered up my strength and wandered around the seaside pub. I had no idea who i was looking for and my memory struggled to put faces to the names i was given. Eventually i found a table with two grown men, not highschool kids, who looked like the type of men who would have gone to my school. I wandered up and kind of squeaked "are you so and so and so and so?"

And it was. I sat. And we talked. And we had a few drinks. And suddenly it was like time and distance and all the life lived in between faded. We had this shared history and shared stories from youth that transcended nerves and fear. We laughed. We filled in the details of the past two decades. And i was comfortable, like i was with friends.

Eventually my host showed up to drive me to my destination. Someone else i hadn't seen for twenty years, but have shared some emails back and forth with. Someone i have followed through their travels and listened as they struggled with choices about futures and jobs and family. We drove along the winding roads. It was a calmer meeting, we already knew each others stories. He knew i was freaking out on a few levels. That what i needed most was some calm in my life. Some time and space.

I was surprised, am constantly surprised, how so many west coast towns look the same. Feel the same. Sleepy little places where people plant roots, where lives are lived and stories are made and told. Twenty minutes of country roads found us winding down an evergreen lined driveway to a beachfront cottage with a yard littered with tents and dogs and children and adults.

I made my introductions and headed down to the beach. I live on a lake, but the majesty of the ocean always thrills me. I sat as the sun set over the peaceful ocean. I felt proud and happy that i'd made the journey. Just sitting on that beach, feeling okay with myself, letting myself face some fears and do something unknown, just doing that made everything okay in my world.

I think the reason i had so much fun in miami is that i was expecting nothing. I was expecting to be sent into some hurly burly sadness and despair.

Travelling to my miami by myself was liberating. I loved running through the airports knowing that i was completely free and in charge of my own destiny. Nobody was watching me to make sure i was okay. Nobody knew me. I was just another traveller. On my way to or from some journey. Another person plugged into their ipod, desperately trying to get an overpriced wifi connection in airports across the country.

Miami was beautiful. A place so different from my home. A place where i could let go of all my anxiety and sadness for a few days.

Travelling home was painful and long - save for a visit with shane's sister, her husband and their very beautiful two month old son in toronto. I held that baby, gently swept my face across his soft and new head, and felt alive and happy.

When i got home and snuck into bed beside parker in the early morning hours his chubby little hand reached out and hesitantly touched my face and hair. Testing to see if it was really me. He sat up in his sleep, gave me a kiss and a hug and settled back into gentle snores. His head resting in the curve where my arm meets my body.

I spent the day yesterday enjoying my children. My head filling with the colds of thousands of miles covered breathing the recycled air of hundreds of people. The head cold is a small price to pay for the days away and the appreciation they gave me for this life i have and share.

Today is my birthday. I am happy to have reached this birthday. I am happy to have gone through so much mental torment this year. It has made me realize how hard this life is. How many beautiful things there are. How much i adore my family. Every cute and smelly inch of them.

I am not all better. I don't want to be portraying that here. One day, everything is all better. It doesn't work that way. The other night i had a small breakdown by the pool. I heaved the most massive tears i have ever cried. I moaned and tears flowed. Shane held me.It was the first time i have cried since this whole thing started. It was horrible.

I am seperated from my sadness here in miami. I have left it behind me for now. I am ignoring it while i enjoy this beautiful place with my husband.

Today we are going on a swamp tour in honour of my birthday. I'm totally psyched.

Oh the day i had yesterday. Before you read any further i'm going to bitch about george bush and america in general. So stop now if you're easily offended by a travelling canadian.

I arrived in chicago around 3:00 yesterday. The airport was a total zoo. Thousands and thousands of people squished into a little terminal. We had to go back through security which was an hour long snaking line-up through the airport. Then once in the terminal, with only mcdonalds and starbucks to eat, everybody was informed of 2-4 hour delays on all flights. Apparently one inch of snow in the morning shut down the whole airport.

There was no internet access. Cell phone coverage was spotty.

I boarded my flight to miami at 8:25pm. Five hours. No internet. No nothing.

Once on the plane the captain told us that the airport had been shut down because airforce one had landed. Bono and George Bush. How can the taxpayers of this country accept that kind of inconvenience and total disrespect for peoples time? What the hell do they think is going to happen if airforce one lands among the riffraff?

There were a lot of pissed off people on that plane.

I don't understand how a country can idolize people so much that they deserve conveniences far and beyond anything any of us can ever hope for. I wonder if they would shut down the airport for brad and angelina? Part of me cringes, knowing that it's possible.

In canada our political comedian, jon stewart type - rick mercer - he goes fishing with the man set to take over a political party. Then they end the segment with a skinny dip. All on national television. That's what makes canada amazing. We make fun of ourselves. We try not totake ourselves to seriously. We try to have fun.

Anyway, miami is beautiful. Miami beach is incredible. Warm, humid, beautiful ocean colours and palm trees. My 16 hour travel day is a memory already. I am enjoying a beer poolside. I feel like i've taken a step back in time to the 50's.

After a sleepless night, i snuck out of my sleepover room, piled high with my kids bodies. I kissed each of them and drove the hour to victoria as the sun came up over the mountains.

Yesterday i stepped in a mud soaked bog in my precious earth shoe maryjanes. I have been running through airports and across borders with one very muddy, still damp foot. At each security check when i take my shoes off i can't help but laugh. I'm sure i'll fit in great in miami.

I am back in the seattle airport again. It seems like yesterday i came through here travelling to BlogHer. Onwards to chicago.